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| I took this at my grandads house before I left. Such a great view. |
I try not to think 'what if', mainly because some rational thinking societal norm has put it in my brain that you shouldn't dwell on the past. However, sometimes that 'what if' creeps in. Such 'what if occurrences include:
What if I didn't crash into that power pole on my push bike? - Would I have a giant scar on my forehead? Obviously not.
What if I fed that baby possum I rescued jam instead of peanut butter? - Would it still be alive?
What if I took those ballet lessons as a child? - Would I be a dancer?
What if I went to that Whale Rider audition in year 8? - Should have gone. Idiot.
What if I kept pursuing my career in economics? - Would I be 'rich'? Yes. Would I be miserable? Absolutely.
What if I had a normal family with normal jobs and normal drama? - Would I be the person I am today? All signs point to no.
What if I won the lottery? But, do I want to win the lottery? Weirdly, no. I like the challenge of just 'living'.
What if I didn't go to America? - Same old shit?
What if I didn't start this blog? - Woh. Shut the front door.
What if I didn't start Pearl + Hammer? - next issue is due out in 3 months (shameless plug).
What if you weren't reading this? - What would you be doing right now? What would I be doing right now?
Aside all of those trivial past obsevations there is one 'what if' that I constantly think about. In December 2010 I was backpacking in Melbourne with a few friends. One night we came home to our residence, which was a pub aptly called the Exford Hotel, and as we were about to enter our room an American girl starting chatting to us. She was so friendly and every story she had was just a GREAT story. We stood in the doorway for about an hour just laughing at life before she asked us if we wanted to come hang out in her room. We all agreed and off we went across the hall. By this time it was about 1am. What followed was one of the best conversations I've ever observed and participated in. She explained how she was almost 30 and she'd just met some 22 year old guy and spent the night making out with him in the toilet and she felt totally 'too old'. We laughed. She then told us about her life and how she had just finished another arts qualification at some Harvard affiliated institution. She explained how just having the email address with the words @harvard in it 'opened doors'. But, it was what she did next made such an impact on me.
