Day 23 - What If… #436

I took this at my grandads house before I left. Such a great view.

I try not to think 'what if', mainly because some rational thinking societal norm has put it in my brain that you shouldn't dwell on the past. However, sometimes that 'what if' creeps in. Such 'what if occurrences include:

What if I didn't crash into that power pole on my push bike? - Would I have a giant scar on my forehead? Obviously not.
What if I fed that baby possum I rescued jam instead of peanut butter? - Would it still be alive?
What if I took those ballet lessons as a child? - Would I be a dancer?
What if I went to that Whale Rider audition in year 8? - Should have gone. Idiot.
What if I kept pursuing my career in economics? - Would I be 'rich'? Yes. Would I be miserable? Absolutely.
What if I had a normal family with normal jobs and normal drama? - Would I be the person I am today? All signs point to no.
What if I won the lottery? But, do I want to win the lottery? Weirdly, no. I like the challenge of just 'living'. 
What if I didn't go to America? - Same old shit?
What if I didn't start this blog? - Woh. Shut the front door.
What if I didn't start Pearl + Hammer? - next issue is due out in 3 months (shameless plug). 
What if you weren't reading this? - What would you be doing right now? What would I be doing right now?

Aside all of those trivial past obsevations there is one 'what if' that I constantly think about. In December 2010 I was backpacking in Melbourne with a few friends. One night we came home to our residence, which was a pub aptly called the Exford Hotel, and as we were about to enter our room an American girl starting chatting to us. She was so friendly and every story she had was just a GREAT story. We stood in the doorway for about an hour just laughing at life before she asked us if we wanted to come hang out in her room. We all agreed and off we went across the hall. By this time it was about 1am. What followed was one of the best conversations I've ever observed and participated in. She explained how she was almost 30 and she'd just met some 22 year old guy and spent the night making out with him in the toilet and she felt totally 'too old'. We laughed. She then told us about her life and how she had just finished another arts qualification at some Harvard affiliated institution. She explained how just having the email address with the words @harvard in it 'opened doors'. But, it was what she did next made such an impact on me.

Day 22 - 10 Things People Wouldn't Expect About You #436

Funniest scene EVER.

1. I don't really like the movie Bridesmaids, in fact it's a little bit shit, but that one scene when they're on the plane - I re-watch it at least twice a week. HILARIOUS.
2. I wear my Beats by Dre everyday (don't judge). People think I'm listening to some hardcore hiphop, but generally I'm blasting an audiobook of Malcom Gladwell's The Tipping Point.
3. I get beyond irritated with people who 'sprain' their ankle. Let me tell you, I'm an only child and attention seeking is my forte. Also, unless you're an elite athlete just don't even give me that sh**. 
4. I auditioned for an Australian T.V show the other day. My accent was terrible. But, I got a call back. What the what.
5. I feel this overwhelming sense of guilt when I eat chocolate. Oh no.
6. I watch Emily Blunt movies, heaps. Man she's cool.
7. I get extreme anxiety when meeting someone who has organised an appointment with me. It's ok if it's an unplanned meeting or I organised the appointment with them, but if it's the other way around I will literally vomit. Profusely - beforehand.
8. Actually, I also get anxiety in crowds. Yeah.
9. Looking at cows stomach (tripe?) both intrigues me and disgusts me.
10. I like giving homeless people spare change.

Morgs

Day 21 - Something You Can’t Get Over #435

Something I can't get over is how incredibly fun it was to shoot pictures with Sarah. It's a dynamic that can't be replicated and I miss it! GET TO MELBOURNE SARAH?!

Morgs

Day 20 - Your Last Argument #434

Ultimate argument face.

The last argument I had was about 10 minutes ago with some beefed up guy over a game of pool. He argued that he didn't lose because he sank the white ball and missed the 8. I beg to differ. Aside that, the last 'real' argument I had was, well... really lame. I was a shit friend and went out on Friday night and totally forgot I'd planned to meet another friend in the city the next day. I woke up and Facebooked 'said friend' asking what they were up to today. Said friend was not impressed - totally understandable *face palm*. However, what came next was not a fun time. I got told I 'crave' drama. This made me question everything about myself. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. After a long and hard think I can say I most certainly do NOT crave drama. I think there's aspects of my personality that seem to attract 'dramatic moments' but I do not parade around wanting these things. There I go again, questioning myself *slaps own face*. Moral of the story - 1. Conflict is lame, sometimes necessary, but in general it's just lame. 2. Don't question yourself, you are you. And, 3. Friends will screw up and friends will bump heads, but friends will always be friends.

Morgs

Day 19 - Something That Always Makes You Feel Better #433

photo: Pamela Hanson for Elle

It's more of a process that makes me feel better, and it goes in this order:
1. Tim Tams
2. Go for run to burn off Tim Tams.
3. Listening to some Wayne Dyer.
4. A HOT HOT HOT HOT SHOWER
5. Kardashians.
6. A good yarn with friends & family.
7. More Tim Tams.
8. A glass of whiskey.
9. A massage
And,
10. More Tim Tams.

Morgs

Day 18 - Disrespecting Parents #432

Mum, Dad and Me just casual chillin' on the hood of the car, circa 1993.

This is probably the easiest of all the challenges to answer. I have such a great deal of respect for my parents so I couldn't imagine anything worse than disrespecting them. It takes a lot to raise a kid, I don't think I could ever do it and I respect anyone who has/is. I believe parents are not limited only to your mother and father; they can also include anyone who has taken part in making your the person you are today - your brother, your sister, maybe your bestfriends mum, grandparents, family friends etc. I'm so blessed to have multiple people around me who have taken on this role. I have so much respect for them all. Aint no disrespectin' goin' on here *snaps fingers like ghetto woman*.

Morgs

Day 17 - Things That Make You Scared #431

photo: Arthur Elgort for Vogue

1. I'm scared about feeling vulnerable. Or maybe feeling vulnerable makes me scared? One or the other. But I'm also totally down with making myself vulnerable at the moment because the feeling of being scared often means I'm doing something right. Does that make sense? Sort of?
2. Thoughts. I get really scared of thoughts. That makes me sound psychotic but surely someone can relate? I'm well aware that by thinking bad thoughts only attracts more bad thoughts and then before you know it you're eating ice cream in your onesie. Go away ugly thoughts, aint got no time for you guuuuurrrrrl.
3. Death (such an intense word). Not my own but that of my friends and family. I can't think of anything more scary than losing friends or family. Lame. Lame. Lame. But I guess the fact is, everybody dies. It's not if but when. Live for now, be present, do what you love, say what you love, love who you love etc...
4. On a lighter note, I'm still scared of roller coasters. Don't see that changing anytime soon.
5. And, on a weirder note, I'm scared of what's under the ocean. Actually I'm probably more fascinated with it. There is literally another world that exists on this planet that we barely no anything about. Just think about that for a second.
6. Lastly, on a broader note, the universe. Like just woh. I'm sitting here, existing, so are you. But do you actually know where you are? Sure you're in a physical place you 'know' but where did that place come from? And why does it exist? Are we actually 'here' or am I imagining this? If we [humans] can exist doesn't that mean really anything is possible? If energy can't be created or destroyed where does it go when we die? What actually goes on beyond form? Yeah I just went there. Is this real life? Sometimes I feel like I'm on the Truman Show.

I think the truth is, I like being scared. It makes me feel 'real'.

Morgs

Day 16 - 3 Things You Like About Your Personality #430

photo: I'm unsure where to credit this but it illustrates how I feel right now. I want to say it was in Vogue circa 2007?  

Cringe-worthy just hit a new level of cringe-worthy. I'm in a bit of a 'personality rut' at the moment - cool story bro, tell someone who cares. No but yeah but no but. Oh. Dammit. Sigh.

1. I like that I make friends really easily. I love talking to people and I like hearing their stories. That all sort of comes under one umbrella. I guess you'd call it friendliness?

2. I like to help people. It's almost like instinct. I have to help people. I feel compelled to help people. That is often at my own expense. Or is it? Side note: As I'm writing this this girls suitcase split open and (I would estimate) a years supply of cold and flu medicine spilled out on the floor. I helped her pick it up but in hindsight should I be questioning whether she was a drug mule? #internalconflict.

3. I'm down with my ability to turn a bad situation into a good one. Something nana always taught me, "You have to see the funny side". It's now ingrained into my personality.

Morgs

Day 15 - The Best Things to Happen This Week #429

photo: was taken from my old boss's reference folder (thanks Pippa)

This week has been so crazy. I've had some of the best and the worst things happen to me this week. Let's focus on the positives:
1. I got a job of sorts. Win. Win. Win. Thanks university.
2. I've been to rooftop bars 4 times this week. Not nessecarily to drink but to marvel at the wonderful city views. How romantic. 
3. Telling friends the 'full story' and said friends either becoming closer or farther from your consciousness.
4. Skyping with bestie who just knows you inside and out, possibly better than you know yourself. That someone who calls you out and tells you how it is. Sometimes it has got to be said so you can address what's not working and move on #keeper.
5. Meeting new friends. Where is Essex? Because I need to go there.
6. Staying away from people who only want to pick at your flaws rather than support you. Nobody's perfect.
7. English accents. Oh man. WANT.
8. A date?! What are this?
9. Being inspired by exhibitions. This city is so cultural.
10. Finding out that Tavi will be in Melbourne for the writers festival.
11. You. Yes you reading this. The fact that your looking at this now makes it a good week. Thank you.

Morgs

Day 14 - Something Disgusting You Do #428

photo: Cellina Von Mannstein - I just really love this photo. Heaps.

Disgusting? I think my disgusting threshold is a wee bit high for some peoples liking but I guess pick my nose...sometimes. Like, actual. Doesn't everybody?! I pick myself one big green glacier, I'll admit it. Well that was a bit graphic, maybe not like that, but it [nose penetration] does happen...sometimes. I know you do it too.

Morgs

Day 13 - Your Dream Date #427

My dream date would be something I could never predict. It always erks me when I can tell what's about to happen next. I don't really like overly fancy things. I'm cool with simplicities. However, if someone were to whisk me off to a Robyn concert in Sweden, I'm not going to be disappointed. I guess this dream date would have one thing - an adventure.

Morgs

Day 12 - What Would You Say to an Ex? #426

Sorry, I was lame back then. I made you feel less than human - you should have slapped me - wait...you did. I lost a best friend, and truth is, it still burns. There's so much to resolve and you know that. But at the same time, I can't stand you. I wish you nothing but happiness, really. You're a good person. 

Morgs

Day 11 - Single Life vs Relationship Life #425

I think, of the two, single life is definitely the safer option. I've come to really appreciate my mental stability and that is best when I 'ride solo' (bad choice of words? screw it). The pros of being single include: eating alone every night, going to the movies and holding hands with yourself, setting the self timer on your camera to take scenic portraits, giving couples the 'smug face' because they know that you know that they know that you're the superior human, ordering a cosmopolitan and feeling like you've not failed at life, and of course - watching the Kardashian's with a bowl of popcorn knowing that is ALL YOURS baby! Truth be told I parade my single life like it's the bees knees, and it is. But, I am human and I too want that 'someone'. I'm well aware that the achievements and pitfalls in life are much more of a journey when you have someone to share that with.

Dear Universe, like, can you send that special someone my way? Thanks.

Morgs

Day 10 - Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol #424

photo: Dakota Gordon

I have quite a distorted? no, weird? no, unique? 'I dunno' perspective on this. I've seen it from both sides, and by that I mean I've seen it from the 'absolute' of both sides. Some of the closest people to me are addicts beyond repair and some haven't even flicked the reel on a lighter. Some are the poorest-of-poor addicts, and some live a balance of riches and oblivion. I don't really talk about 'drugs and alcohol' in this manner - often because it's something I'd rather block out.

Day 9 - Your Last Kiss #423

photo is probably from Olsen's Anonymous

OH MAN! Not going to lie, this is really testing my 'comfortable bubble'. Before I begin I just got off a skype convo with a friend who said something like, "Lovin' the blog posts at the moment but you're not usually this deep." Just in case anyone else is a bit confused I'm doing the 30 Day Challenge, which is basically 30 days of intensely personal questions that I'm slightly uncomfortable with, yet slightly comfortable with. It's a weird complex. So that said, here we go. It was a stormy night in suburban New Zealand. I was saying goodbye to someone because I was leaving for Melbourne. I leaned over to grab this persons phone with the intention of taking a photo of myself and making it their background picture (as you do). That turned into me looking like I was reaching over for a hug, which turned into a hug, but I hesitated on which side of their shoulder to direct my head so I got half of their face, in my face. Which, by human nature, created lip magnets and boom...Mac Mac Loreal, yip coz I'm worth it.  

Morgs

Day 8 - Something You Are Currently Worrying About #422

I found this kid tagging and he let me follow him around with my camera. He seemed to have no worries.

I worry just like everybody else about where my life is headed. Currently, that involves a stable job and managing my money better. I always have these weird internal conflicts about 'work'. On one hand I'm like "Well I could just get a 9 to 5 job and do the things I love on the side while I steadily grow that mound of money to live comfortably". On the other hand I'm like "I'm scared of killing that part of me that is so fired up about creating things and I could just take on freelance work that pays but pays variably". But then when I operate on my 'own time' things aren't achieved in 'efficient time'. And operating on my 'own time' leads to 3am bedtimes and unhealthy eating patterns, which leads to even later bedtimes and then lazy Morgs who sleeps till 1pm. Not. A. Fun time. Good work does come of it but at the expensive of self preservation. And then when I have a routine I become less interested in the things that I get a lot of joy out of doing. So basically, current worries include tossing up money over happiness. *Sigh* Life.

Morgs

Day 7 - Your Opinion on Cheating #421

I took this in NYC. It made me smile.

Well my friends I, like a lot of other people, strongly dislike it. In fact, I hate it. I can't say I have ever been cheated on (and I thank those people); but, I have been that asshole. Once. And that was all down to my own insecurities. Does that make my points on this topic a bit hypocritical? Maybe. What I can say is that even though it was only once, once was already too much. I find with questions like this it all comes back to defining 'what is cheating?'. I've always maintained the stance that cheating is only when you sleep with another person. I will now happily admit that I was wrong. I, in my infinitely growing bank of useless wisdom, define it as 'emotional want for another person'. Whether that turns physical or not, it's cheating. It just seems to hurt more when it's physical because there's somewhat tangible evidence. I also have mixed opinions on loyalty and 'committing yourself to one person', because I don't believe it should ever have to feel like that. Maybe I'm just being a Pisces, but, it should be effortless shouldn't it? If the person you're with makes that much of an impact of your life then it shouldn't feel like a battle with your brain as to who comes first. It should just be. Well, that's what my intuition tells me anyway. So, my opinion on cheating? It exists in relationships that weren't right from the start. If you cheated you need to stop, slap yourself repeatedly, and address what's missing in your life to make you act like such a dick. If someone cheated on you, LEAVE THEM. They have issues beyond what you can help them with. And, you already know this but, you deserve better - much better. Wait for it to feel effortless.

Morgs

Day 6 - Describe the Person You Like #420

Finding laneways err'ywhere in Melbourne

Ah it purrs, and it's called a cat. I kid, I like people who like me. So, if you like me I like you. Ideally this person would possess such qualities as: funny, happy, funny, happy, funny, oh and happy. But also driven. And a fun time. If Miranda, Rebel Wilson, Emily Blunt, Jay Z, Zach Levi, Kanye, Angelina Jolie and Drew Barrymore fused themselves together - that person would be my boo. And that is all I have to say about that. 

Morgs

Day 5 - Name 5 Irritating Things About Boys and Girls #419

photo: James Fitzgerald III

Here goes:

Men -
1. Whispering. If you want to whisper to someone that requires not making loud booming noises.
2. Oh you wolf whistled me? Awesome, yeah that totally means I'm going to turn around and talk to you [read: sarcasm].
3. Those ridic Lower jeans with the squiggly cloud buisness on the ass pockets. Please stop. Although you probably shouldn't be wearing them past the age of 19 or past 2007 - some still seem to slip through the cracks. Get it? Cracks... LAME. 
4. Thinking I can't do what you can do. Just watch me erect this 4 tier marquee all by myself. Bitch.
5. No I don't want to sit here while you show me Youtube videos of Family Guy skits. They're not funny.

Women -
1. When you're at the beach and there is a designated communal changing room in the public toilet. Yet you still get butt naked in the bagging area. What. The. Hell.
2. Farting and blaming it on someone else. Guurl, own it.
3. Women that are PDA prolific. There's a time and a place. That time and place is not on any form of public transport.
4. Accusers. Automatically jumping to conclusions and then realising you're wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Boom.
5. Over thinking. Sometimes things are just that simple.

Morgs

Day 4 - What Do You Wear to Bed? & P!NK #418

This happened last night.

What do I wear to bed? Call me lame but...my Batman onezie. What goes on under that aint nobody's bizness.

In other news, last night I got to do something pretty exciting. Check it out here .

Morgs

Day 3 - What Attracts You to Someone? #417

Some wall wisdom from the mean streets of Melbourne.

In general? I think I'm attracted to everyone in a totally platonic way. I just like people. I like talking to people, heaps. I like a good story and everyone has a different story. I've sort of been brought up to see the good in everybody which can have its pros and cons (elaborating on that would take a century). Cats that move beyond the realm of 'friends' to 'best friends, best best friends, and more' are all similar in one way - they make me laugh. None of this ha-ha business, we be like HAHAHAHA SNORT HAHAHAHA CANT BREATHE HAHAHAHA SNORT HAHAHA SHART. Serious. I'm also attracted to people who make me feel comfortable aka we can talk about farts and stuff. Like how do people be in relationships for years and still say "oh yeah I've never farted in front of such and such"?! Like what. The. Actual. Shit. Lastly, I'm attracted to people who are going SOMEWHERE - they be peddling that bike of life toward something that means something to them. That's the epitome of cool.  

I don't really like to talk about what I don't like but there's nothing more off putting to me than 'nodders' - people who just agree with me and don't have an opinion. That grinds my gears. Have an opinion, guise.

Morgs

Day 2 - How Have You Changed Over the Past 2 Years? #416

I got lost in Melbourne today so I sat down and ate my lunch in a laneway

Two years ago today I was probably sitting in Hamilton, on my bed in my 1 bedroom studio apartment, eating rice with tomato sauce whilst looking at statistics on the OCR (Official Cash Rate, for the economically oblivious - stay that way, the OCR is not your friend). Not to mention being a complete emotional wreck and introverted drama queen. Lame gurl, lame. Fast forward two years - travelled half way across the world. Started being real with myself. Figured myself out (sort of). Worked with some pretty rad people. Stalked down my heroes. Did things I never thought I would do. Travelled halfway back across the world. Managed a band in Australia. Flew home. Flew back to Australia. And now here I am. But I guess that doesn't really answer how I've changed over the past two years. I've done a lot of things, but changed? I guess so. I do have a way different mindset. I've given up keeping in contact with people who aren't supportive or positive or happy or nice or fun. Bitches get cut, all the time. I kid. I struggle at being mean to people. I'm all about happiness, gratitude, and supporting my peers. I've learnt that two heads are definitely better than one - that has shifted my whole way of thinking. Also being truthful with myself. People say it all the time "you got to be honest with yourself, what do you really want? And, what really makes you happy?", but it's something you really don't understand the power of until you do it.  Sounds corny as hell but that's the truth, man. Change probably isn't the best word to describe what has evolved over the past two years, grown is maybe more appropriate.

Morgs

30 Day Challenge - Day 1, Weird Things You Do When Alone #415

Slightly irrelevant picture but yet slightly relevant.

Yesterday I said I was going to do this 30 Challenge that Katherine started doing because she saw it here. Well, here goes. And, thanks Katherine!

Day 1, Weird Things You Do When Alone
I. can't. even. I'm constantly by myself so I think I'm slightly desensitized to all the weird things I do. I'll just list a few things and you can be the judge, feedback is welcome so I can work on transitioning out of being a weirdo.

1. I watch the Kardashians. A lot. Like a lot, a lot. And I like it. A lot. Sigh.
2. I rap out loud to songs. And, if I get one word wrong, or hit the mark 'off beat' I'll start the whole song again.
3. I also do this with normal songs. But the restarting process doesn't happen as much.
4. OH WAIT. This is something weird. I got told in forth form if I didn't stop it I'd end up psychologically inferior (thanks English teacher circa 2003). I have this thing that when I'm walking I imagine invisible lines that come out of points on objects (buildings, cars, bollards, trees), and I can't step on them. That probably sounds hard to understand but you know the game 'step on a crack marry a rat' from when you were like 5yrs old? Yeah well it's like a way more intense version of that. That I play by myself. OH THE SHAME. 
5. OH NO. And another one. So when I'm a passenger in a car I look out the window and imagine a giant matchstick tumbling over and over between the road markers on the side of the road. And sometimes, in my mind, it speeds up too fast and hits a road marker and the matchstick breaks. But that's ok because, in my mind, there's and infinite supply of matchsticks. I. SOUND. CRAZY.
6. I revisit places.
7. I pray. Don't know who to. But I do.
8. I dance in front the mirror, hardcore. Note: still shit at dancing.
9. I watch Marie Forleo videos. Because she's hilarious & we have the same sense of humor.

That's enough weirdness.

Morgs

Updates on Errythang, Live from Melbourne #414

This is from my instagram. Do you have instagram? Let's make instagram babies.

1. I'm in Melbourne. Actually I've kind of moved here. Well based myself here. Well sort of. Like I plan on coming back here in between NYC, rest of the world and... stuff. Oh man. Opened Pandora's... ah, box with that one. Let's start that again. This morning I got on a plane to Melbourne. It was heaps real. And this didn't happen. 

2. My eyes are shutting as I'm writing this.

3. I was in New Zealand this morning, wait have we already had this discussion?

4. [I removed the content that was here because it was totes inapprops] - yes I just used teenager slang. As replacement content I give you this.

5. Freaking out over the graffiti here. Man. I knew there was a reason it reminded me of NY.

6. My eyes are actually crusting over.

7. Can someone update me on xfactor? Benny better win or I'll snap chat Daniel Beddingfield a cat anus.

8. MAGNA CARTA HOLY GRAIL.

9. I hadn't checked my email inbox (thisismorgs) and turns out it's fuller than a bag of wasabi covered peas. Not a humble brag but just a general indirect kick up my own butt. Sorry about that, I'm slowly getting through them. Some require actual responses that require brain power I am lacking right now; however, I WILL get there. I love you, man.

10. Katherine started doing this. I am also going to join in on the fun. Such fun #sheepday.

11. Total overshare. Sorry.

Morgs