Day 10 - Your Views on Drugs and Alcohol #424

photo: Dakota Gordon

I have quite a distorted? no, weird? no, unique? 'I dunno' perspective on this. I've seen it from both sides, and by that I mean I've seen it from the 'absolute' of both sides. Some of the closest people to me are addicts beyond repair and some haven't even flicked the reel on a lighter. Some are the poorest-of-poor addicts, and some live a balance of riches and oblivion. I don't really talk about 'drugs and alcohol' in this manner - often because it's something I'd rather block out.

Before I elaborate on my views on 'drugs and alcohol' there's a bit of a back story you need to understand. Growing up I knew what the word tic meant before I knew what Barbies were. 'Joints' weren't points on your body where bones met and bend. 'Gear' never referred to sports or cars. And I now know why when the adults went 'pig hunting' they never actually came back with pigs but bags of 'stuff'. Maybe these people didn't live on the 'right' side of the law but this was their job. And from what I saw they worked just as hard as any other person. But that job lacked work life balance. Work became life and life became work, and that progressed into harder habits and a bigger downward spiral - until some got out, and some stayed. It sounds dramatic but it's true. I've seen people get attacked with crow bars because of a deal gone wrong, had family murdered, family friends murdered, family stood over by gang members who think they're entitled to be in our home, drunk friends suddenly turn into enemies, and I've seen friends I grew up with join the game. I heard and I saw everything. That little girl with the Dora Explorer backpack walking past your house in the morning marveling at the steam on her breath has probably seen more than you could ever imagine. It doesn't just happen in America, kids. It's probably happening in your neighbourhood right now.

Surprisingly I didn't try drugs or alcohol in this context at all, which is crazy because given my situation one would assume I would have. Even though these things were happening all around me it was drummed into me that it was to 'stop' with me. I remember the exact words that were said to me at the age of 7, "This is a cycle, don't be a part of it". Not even kidding. They all knew they were being hypocrites when they said this but they knew they were in too far to make it out now, and so did I. My great grandmother would literally sit me down and say, "You have to change this family". In the 'Maori psyche' there are generally two people who have any authority over you - 'you' and 'the head of the family'. And when the head of the family speaks to you, you listen, and goddamit you listen carefully or else. My great grandmother died in September 2012 and the last conversation we had was exactly that. Not even kidding, again. It's something I'm really thankful for.

Then came high school. I made the decision, with the help of my ever so supportive father (thanks Papa Glenn), to go to this boarding school. It was my escape. And, it changed me. I was then surrounded by these kids who, not all but the majority, didn't really get where I was from. Some of them were freaked about the dress they were wearing on the weekend. I was worried about some crazy asshole burning down my house with my family inside. They'd talk about drugs and I'd pretend I was on the same level of knowledge #insecurities. I eventually tried them. Pretended it affected me, it didn't. I don't know why. Then came party pills. That was a fun era, but a destructive one. By the time I arrived at university I had come to the realisation that I'd moved my way through each echelon in the supply chain, and I was now at the end with the customers. It was a weird feeling.

Later on came New York. Recreational drug use was everywhere. But this time these were hard drugs. The downtown club kids were running on cocaine like they were fueling a milk tanker. People didn't wait in line to actually go to the bathroom. It was a big wake up call. This time I understood addiction when it was accompanied by wealth - it's just as toxic.

So my views on drugs and alcohol? Whether you're rich, poor, Maori, Caucasian, Asian if you're taking drugs or sipping a beer you're trying to transport yourself from reality to somewhere better. It's escapism. I get it. My stance is I'm never going to knock you for it, it's your choice. I'll watch but I wont participate. I've had enough of an education to know it's not a lifestyle choice I'd commit to, or want people I care about to commit to. I'm of the opinion that drugs and alcohol are just as bad as each other. Just because alcohol is legal doesn't mean it's ok to binge on. And just because drugs are illegal doesn't mean you should knock someone because they did a little on the weekend. I respect your choice.

Morgs