Day 17 - Things That Make You Scared #431

photo: Arthur Elgort for Vogue

1. I'm scared about feeling vulnerable. Or maybe feeling vulnerable makes me scared? One or the other. But I'm also totally down with making myself vulnerable at the moment because the feeling of being scared often means I'm doing something right. Does that make sense? Sort of?
2. Thoughts. I get really scared of thoughts. That makes me sound psychotic but surely someone can relate? I'm well aware that by thinking bad thoughts only attracts more bad thoughts and then before you know it you're eating ice cream in your onesie. Go away ugly thoughts, aint got no time for you guuuuurrrrrl.
3. Death (such an intense word). Not my own but that of my friends and family. I can't think of anything more scary than losing friends or family. Lame. Lame. Lame. But I guess the fact is, everybody dies. It's not if but when. Live for now, be present, do what you love, say what you love, love who you love etc...
4. On a lighter note, I'm still scared of roller coasters. Don't see that changing anytime soon.
5. And, on a weirder note, I'm scared of what's under the ocean. Actually I'm probably more fascinated with it. There is literally another world that exists on this planet that we barely no anything about. Just think about that for a second.
6. Lastly, on a broader note, the universe. Like just woh. I'm sitting here, existing, so are you. But do you actually know where you are? Sure you're in a physical place you 'know' but where did that place come from? And why does it exist? Are we actually 'here' or am I imagining this? If we [humans] can exist doesn't that mean really anything is possible? If energy can't be created or destroyed where does it go when we die? What actually goes on beyond form? Yeah I just went there. Is this real life? Sometimes I feel like I'm on the Truman Show.

I think the truth is, I like being scared. It makes me feel 'real'.

Morgs