Sharing your age in New York #291

Most of the friends I have here in New York think I'm around 26 - 28 years old which I kind of like, and I'm not going to tell them otherwise. I don't lie per-say I just don't give a straight answer. Tonight my flatmates and I went to a halloween party downstairs and they were all talking about their jobs and how old they felt. They then went around the circle discussing how old they each were. 30, 31, 26, 30, 25 and then it got to me. I made them guess and I asked for an honest opinion why they thought I was a certain age before I answered. The general consensus was that I was between 25 and 29 because of the job I had, the things I'd done and the way I spoke. I watched their mouths drop when I said 21. And I honestly do not ever tell people how old I am because it loses a lot of respect in this city. It shouldn't but it does. I mean even in New Zealand I think it does to a point. I then repeatedly said, "If you start treating me that age I will be pissed off." They said they wouldn't but one dick in the group did. Who cares - haters gon hate. I have always kind of jelled more with people who were older but never more so than when I touched down in America. And I purposely don't tell them my age 1. so I can share my opinion without any bias, and 2. So I'm not looked down on. It's almost like a form of racism. I understand the intellectual growth that comes with age but I will damn well give you a run for your money fool! America, don't treat me like a useless 21 year old - I feel 28. 

Looking down the avenues

Morgs

I want go somewhere really American #216

Think this kind of American minus the movie. 

I've been planning a get-a-way for a while now (by plan I mean drowning in the internet). I thought I would go to Miami for a week, but now I think about it I don't really want to party like a teenager and look at overly tanned humans. Although, I'm sure that isn't all of Miami. I definitely want to go somewhere down the East Coast. At the moment I've resorted to putting my finger on a map and researching each place until I find the right one. I haven't found the right one - yet.

So here's my checklist:
- Somewhere that has giant plantation houses.
- Somewhere that isn't too touristy.
- A place with a lot of history, which is pretty much everywhere, but maybe some history that's not so well known.
- A beachy-ish place aka seaside
- Grass. Like grassy places.
- Somewhere with a hotel of some sort.
- Somewhere with a pub.
Perhaps I'm thinking of England as I write this. Come on America there has to somewhere here.
So far I've looked at Georgetown VA, Charleston, Norfolk, and Jacksonville. A little bit tempted with Charleston but still doesn't seem right.

If you know any wonderful American's with knowledge pertaining to my plight please send them my way! Or if you know of somewhere ultra Amerrrrrican that would also be helpful.

Arrgh. Back to searching I go!

☮ Morgs

In my book this is Noteworthy (re: I'm Pissed off with you NZ) #113

The view you can have if you escape New Zealand

I've been talking with an American girl who just spent 4 years in New Zealand. I would love to report back that she thoroughly enjoyed herself but she didn't. She hated it. She came over hoping to make short films and potentially help to grow our small but somewhat 'impressive' film industry. This was not the case. 

I love New Zealand and I'm proud of our country, but there's a reason I moved away. If I told you right now what my 'ultimate goal in life is', I can almost guarantee that the majority of you New Zealand readers (perhaps some Australian) would automatically judge me and think I was crazy. Even some of my own 'friends', I know would think I'm crazy. I know they'd never say it to my face but it's not hard to guess what someone is thinking. However, if I were to tell an American this (or my nana) they'd say "Wow! That's amazing. I wish you luck! Perhaps we can help each other in someway?". To that I would reply with uncontrollable-overdramatic-Kardashian-esque crying. Why? Because someone actually believes I'm capable of achieving what exists in my head. 

Back to that American girl. She came over to New Zealand with big dreams. And you know what happened? Everyone thought she was crazy. Go figure. Here's what she had to say about the New Zealand attitude, 

"It's so fake. Everyone is so fake. You are not that friendly and you're so judgmental."

To which I replied, "You're absolutely right!"

How to win at life (American Style) #50

Photo : © M.Godwin 2012

I've been in the USA a few months now so I am giving myself permission to write a 'somewhat educated' list on how to win at life, American style. This comes from real experience, I shit you not.

1. Be prepared to hand out your business card. Confused? Go get some printed. You don't need to work for any company. That's irrelevant these days. You are your own brand (yes I said it again and I will continue to say it until you get it). A bit of advice, drop the 'pinksurferchick1990@gmail.com' for something a little more professional like 'modernwaveriderwoman1990@gmail.com'. Word. 
2. Rehearse some really good stories for situations where you 'aren't on the list'. It will result in you mixing with some crazy people and getting some contacts so next time you'll be on the list. Tip: Practice infront of the mirror first. Talking to yourself in the mirror is not the first sign of craziness. Trying to get into an event that has 150 security personell, that's craziness.  
3. Get some professional head-shots. I went to apply for a job at a coffee shop when I got here and they wanted head-shots of me. Really?! I also applied for a job at a finance company and they too wanted head-shots. Moral of the story stop mocking those people on facebook that pout for their profile pics, and get vain motherf**ker. 
4. Talk your ass off. Americans love to chat. And dear I say it but "Fake it till you make it". There is nothing wrong with a little exaggeration being thrown in now and again (over here they just call it 'hype'). Hype yo self!
5. Get some guts. It's a very kiwi expression but there is few P.C. ways I could put it. Maybe 'grow a pair' would be more appropriate. If you want to work for someone don't just ask for an interview. Stalk them down. Learn everything about them, or rather be a walking Wikipedia. For example, say you wanted to work for Peter Jackson (possibly not but stay with me). Don't just wait for a job opening or send him a loving email. Find out where he's filming. Talk your way on set. Introduce yourself if he isn't busy, or if he is busy, conveniently leave your resume taped to his car window. Be creative. 
6. Dress like you just walked off the set of James Bond. Don't take that too literally. It's somewhat metaphorical. By all means if you can rock sweat pants and converse then do yo thang honey (*clicks fingers while chanting work it, work it, work it). American's can smell confidence from 10 blocks away, thus if what you're wearing says 'I own this shit bitches' then you need not to worry. Tip: Find your feel good song. Maybe I'm a little cliche but if I crank Jay-Z before I leave the house I feel even better-er.. 

I hope you learnt something. Maybe you disagreed. Whatever. Let's still be friends. Listen to this it always makes me feel better (click here).

In other ELLEN related news...

A few of my new American friended travelling buddies and I have decided tomorrow (1st of March) is ELLEN DAY. Because Ellen tickets have been so goddam impossible to get we are taking matters into our own hands. This entails us going to go over to the studio and seeing if we can make something happen. This isn't some stalker crusade so hide that weirdo perception you just cooked up in your head. This will be done in a tasteful manner (well sort of). And the best part? We'll be filming it all.

And I'm out.
Peace, Morgs
p.s POST 50! Whattt! Thank you for reading and happy ELLEN DAY!