A Shapshot of English Life. So Fetch #449

The milk still comes via a milk man, in glass bottles. Internet is more hormonal than a teenage girl. England is so fetch.

Abe my Llama Babe and New Plymouth #359

Joe's Garage is possibly the best franchise food ever. Cobb&Co. suck on them apples. Seriously though! Go there. And to make the day even better I spent time with a Llama I named Abe. After I had an afternoon nana nap we headed to the light show. New Plymouth it's been a good few days. See you next time homie! 

Morgs

I want go somewhere really American #216

Think this kind of American minus the movie. 

I've been planning a get-a-way for a while now (by plan I mean drowning in the internet). I thought I would go to Miami for a week, but now I think about it I don't really want to party like a teenager and look at overly tanned humans. Although, I'm sure that isn't all of Miami. I definitely want to go somewhere down the East Coast. At the moment I've resorted to putting my finger on a map and researching each place until I find the right one. I haven't found the right one - yet.

So here's my checklist:
- Somewhere that has giant plantation houses.
- Somewhere that isn't too touristy.
- A place with a lot of history, which is pretty much everywhere, but maybe some history that's not so well known.
- A beachy-ish place aka seaside
- Grass. Like grassy places.
- Somewhere with a hotel of some sort.
- Somewhere with a pub.
Perhaps I'm thinking of England as I write this. Come on America there has to somewhere here.
So far I've looked at Georgetown VA, Charleston, Norfolk, and Jacksonville. A little bit tempted with Charleston but still doesn't seem right.

If you know any wonderful American's with knowledge pertaining to my plight please send them my way! Or if you know of somewhere ultra Amerrrrrican that would also be helpful.

Arrgh. Back to searching I go!

☮ Morgs

Happy 4th of July #181

Photo from tonight via HONY

I swore to myself I would never stand for an unreasonably long time in a gigantic crowd ever again - after Times Square New Years Eve 2012. I proved myself wrong again. Welcome to the 4th of July in America where they blow shit up in the ocean and crazy people run down the streets screaming, "F*** Obama. Read yo constitution. We ARE the people" and so on. Even though my legs are a litte sore from standing I must say the experience was worth it. Thanks America!

Peace, Morgs

5 Reasons why you have to travel #119

Photo is in relation to point 3. This is somewhat representative of what that night looked like. 

I've recently learnt that travel is the one thing you can do for yourself that you have everything to gain from. Screw all that other stuff like yoga and what not (although I do love me some Bikram). Travel's where it's at. Here's my five reasons why you have to travel:

1. You get to see and explore places you've dreamed about seeing. All your life.

2. You learn a whole new culture and way of interacting with others. Sounds a little retarded but trust me it's all in good fun. For instance: did I know what Cinco de Mayo was? No. Two margaritas and a bowl of guacamole later, I now know what Cinco de Mayo is. 

3.You meet awesome NEW people. Last night I went to an eviction party with some friends I made only a few weeks ago. We partied. We watched people get crazy. Someone then bought out a spray paint can. There may or may not be "I Love New Zealand" spray painted on an apartment wall in New York City. All in good fun.

4. You get to escape: that whiney friend(s), family drama, what you're 'supposed' to do, the 'c' word, or growing up. All of which would come under the 'real life' umbrella (whatever that is).

5. You get to go to the movies to watch The Avengers only to have two panels of the ceiling collapse in the last minute, and a stream of piss and shit pour out of the hole from a flooded toilet above. My god I have never seen anything so hilarious in my life. I was four seats away. You should have seen me leap over this old woman. Talk about a 4D experience. True story.

Peace, Morgs

In my book this is Noteworthy (re: I'm Pissed off with you NZ) #113

The view you can have if you escape New Zealand

I've been talking with an American girl who just spent 4 years in New Zealand. I would love to report back that she thoroughly enjoyed herself but she didn't. She hated it. She came over hoping to make short films and potentially help to grow our small but somewhat 'impressive' film industry. This was not the case. 

I love New Zealand and I'm proud of our country, but there's a reason I moved away. If I told you right now what my 'ultimate goal in life is', I can almost guarantee that the majority of you New Zealand readers (perhaps some Australian) would automatically judge me and think I was crazy. Even some of my own 'friends', I know would think I'm crazy. I know they'd never say it to my face but it's not hard to guess what someone is thinking. However, if I were to tell an American this (or my nana) they'd say "Wow! That's amazing. I wish you luck! Perhaps we can help each other in someway?". To that I would reply with uncontrollable-overdramatic-Kardashian-esque crying. Why? Because someone actually believes I'm capable of achieving what exists in my head. 

Back to that American girl. She came over to New Zealand with big dreams. And you know what happened? Everyone thought she was crazy. Go figure. Here's what she had to say about the New Zealand attitude, 

"It's so fake. Everyone is so fake. You are not that friendly and you're so judgmental."

To which I replied, "You're absolutely right!"

Gossip Girl Post #112

Since I spent a little of my evening on the Upper East Side I'll share with you what I witnessed. Of course it wouldn't be right if I just 'said' it so I'll Gossip Girl it up for you.

Spotted four blonde models jumping up and down on 72 and Park Ave. And then chatting to two police officers who agreed to give them a ride to the West Village. I think the officers just had a heart (cough cough).

You know you love me.
xoxo GG

True Story.

Apartment Hunting NYC Style #77

There are two trade-offs that completely mind-f*** you when looking for apartments in New York.

- Do I go for more space and live in Brooklyn/Queens(if you're desperate)?
- or, do I live in Manhattan for less space and $300 more.

It's safe to say I'll be seeing a lot more of you Broke-a-lyn

In the picture above is a place called '40 Bond'. I used to stay in a place next door (it was some flea infested semi-illegal excuse for a share room situation). The day I move out I find out that I lived next door to the Olsen twins. Weird. Aside it's notable residents, it is really one of the most impressive buildings in New York. Google it. 

And I'm out.
Peace, Morgs

Inspiration Thursday #65

Some kind person left this in my bathroom. Thank you. 

This week has been one of the worst weeks in New York. My Blackberry got stolen (that's another phone I've lost), asdfghjk!!! So did my I-pod, asdfghjk!!! I got attacked by bed bugs (that includes my face) and my retarded skin decided it wanted to get all swollen. Bank accounts are still getting sorted from being hacked. This is not a racist comment it is based on fact from the fraud office, screw you Nigerian hacking m***** f***kers! Get out of my accounts because I am not in the mood. However, as my wise aunt Mary said to me when I left for New York, "Just remember when it gets hard think 'what can I learn from this?'. Everything happens for a reason". And that is what I have been doing everyday this week. This is what I have learn't so you don't have to experience the same:

1. If you're in America and you have a very bad experience with anything that needs medical attention threaten to sue them. I don't find any happiness in threatening anybody with anything, but after not sleeping for 3 days I was about to lose it. Justified.
2. Tape your phone to your hand like you're playing a really serious game of scrumpy. This is the second time I've lost a phone here. This time it was my Blackberry (I almost shed a tear). I am now torturing myself with a Nokia that looks like it transported itself here from 2002. And I feel like a 12 year old using it.
3. Realise how important your I-pod is. Since mine has been stolen I feel musically naked.
4. Never trust hotel cleaners. Enough said. I hope you assholes enjoy your new phone and I-pod. Karma gon' get you. And breathe.
5. Smile through it all. Repeat again. And again.
6. Get hooked on the show 'Revenge' so you feel like you're being productive.
7. Check you emails because Dad sent you a really positive and happy message.
8. Write in your diary. This will make a great story some day and it's therapeutic.
9. Think to yourself, "It can't possibly get any worse than this. The only way is up."
10. Find an alcohol store selling some cheap Oyster Bay. Get a little tipsy and write notes in secret places for people to find when they move into your room.

I also forgot to mention that I overlooked that it was St Patricks day this weekend, and the place I wanted to rebook at was full. That leaves me in a bit of a pickle, or more like a giant stew. But for fear of my whole family having a heart attack I have found somewhere in Brooklyn to stay over the weekend. Thank goodness Nana is away on holiday because I'm pretty sure I may have put her in hospital with that one. But if you happen to have found internet somewhere in Otago, Nana, I'm fine. Don't stress. ENJOY yourself!

And I'm out.
Peace, Morgs

How to win at life (American Style) #50

Photo : © M.Godwin 2012

I've been in the USA a few months now so I am giving myself permission to write a 'somewhat educated' list on how to win at life, American style. This comes from real experience, I shit you not.

1. Be prepared to hand out your business card. Confused? Go get some printed. You don't need to work for any company. That's irrelevant these days. You are your own brand (yes I said it again and I will continue to say it until you get it). A bit of advice, drop the 'pinksurferchick1990@gmail.com' for something a little more professional like 'modernwaveriderwoman1990@gmail.com'. Word. 
2. Rehearse some really good stories for situations where you 'aren't on the list'. It will result in you mixing with some crazy people and getting some contacts so next time you'll be on the list. Tip: Practice infront of the mirror first. Talking to yourself in the mirror is not the first sign of craziness. Trying to get into an event that has 150 security personell, that's craziness.  
3. Get some professional head-shots. I went to apply for a job at a coffee shop when I got here and they wanted head-shots of me. Really?! I also applied for a job at a finance company and they too wanted head-shots. Moral of the story stop mocking those people on facebook that pout for their profile pics, and get vain motherf**ker. 
4. Talk your ass off. Americans love to chat. And dear I say it but "Fake it till you make it". There is nothing wrong with a little exaggeration being thrown in now and again (over here they just call it 'hype'). Hype yo self!
5. Get some guts. It's a very kiwi expression but there is few P.C. ways I could put it. Maybe 'grow a pair' would be more appropriate. If you want to work for someone don't just ask for an interview. Stalk them down. Learn everything about them, or rather be a walking Wikipedia. For example, say you wanted to work for Peter Jackson (possibly not but stay with me). Don't just wait for a job opening or send him a loving email. Find out where he's filming. Talk your way on set. Introduce yourself if he isn't busy, or if he is busy, conveniently leave your resume taped to his car window. Be creative. 
6. Dress like you just walked off the set of James Bond. Don't take that too literally. It's somewhat metaphorical. By all means if you can rock sweat pants and converse then do yo thang honey (*clicks fingers while chanting work it, work it, work it). American's can smell confidence from 10 blocks away, thus if what you're wearing says 'I own this shit bitches' then you need not to worry. Tip: Find your feel good song. Maybe I'm a little cliche but if I crank Jay-Z before I leave the house I feel even better-er.. 

I hope you learnt something. Maybe you disagreed. Whatever. Let's still be friends. Listen to this it always makes me feel better (click here).

In other ELLEN related news...

A few of my new American friended travelling buddies and I have decided tomorrow (1st of March) is ELLEN DAY. Because Ellen tickets have been so goddam impossible to get we are taking matters into our own hands. This entails us going to go over to the studio and seeing if we can make something happen. This isn't some stalker crusade so hide that weirdo perception you just cooked up in your head. This will be done in a tasteful manner (well sort of). And the best part? We'll be filming it all.

And I'm out.
Peace, Morgs
p.s POST 50! Whattt! Thank you for reading and happy ELLEN DAY!