How to win at life (American Style) #50

Photo : © M.Godwin 2012

I've been in the USA a few months now so I am giving myself permission to write a 'somewhat educated' list on how to win at life, American style. This comes from real experience, I shit you not.

1. Be prepared to hand out your business card. Confused? Go get some printed. You don't need to work for any company. That's irrelevant these days. You are your own brand (yes I said it again and I will continue to say it until you get it). A bit of advice, drop the 'pinksurferchick1990@gmail.com' for something a little more professional like 'modernwaveriderwoman1990@gmail.com'. Word. 
2. Rehearse some really good stories for situations where you 'aren't on the list'. It will result in you mixing with some crazy people and getting some contacts so next time you'll be on the list. Tip: Practice infront of the mirror first. Talking to yourself in the mirror is not the first sign of craziness. Trying to get into an event that has 150 security personell, that's craziness.  
3. Get some professional head-shots. I went to apply for a job at a coffee shop when I got here and they wanted head-shots of me. Really?! I also applied for a job at a finance company and they too wanted head-shots. Moral of the story stop mocking those people on facebook that pout for their profile pics, and get vain motherf**ker. 
4. Talk your ass off. Americans love to chat. And dear I say it but "Fake it till you make it". There is nothing wrong with a little exaggeration being thrown in now and again (over here they just call it 'hype'). Hype yo self!
5. Get some guts. It's a very kiwi expression but there is few P.C. ways I could put it. Maybe 'grow a pair' would be more appropriate. If you want to work for someone don't just ask for an interview. Stalk them down. Learn everything about them, or rather be a walking Wikipedia. For example, say you wanted to work for Peter Jackson (possibly not but stay with me). Don't just wait for a job opening or send him a loving email. Find out where he's filming. Talk your way on set. Introduce yourself if he isn't busy, or if he is busy, conveniently leave your resume taped to his car window. Be creative. 
6. Dress like you just walked off the set of James Bond. Don't take that too literally. It's somewhat metaphorical. By all means if you can rock sweat pants and converse then do yo thang honey (*clicks fingers while chanting work it, work it, work it). American's can smell confidence from 10 blocks away, thus if what you're wearing says 'I own this shit bitches' then you need not to worry. Tip: Find your feel good song. Maybe I'm a little cliche but if I crank Jay-Z before I leave the house I feel even better-er.. 

I hope you learnt something. Maybe you disagreed. Whatever. Let's still be friends. Listen to this it always makes me feel better (click here).

In other ELLEN related news...

A few of my new American friended travelling buddies and I have decided tomorrow (1st of March) is ELLEN DAY. Because Ellen tickets have been so goddam impossible to get we are taking matters into our own hands. This entails us going to go over to the studio and seeing if we can make something happen. This isn't some stalker crusade so hide that weirdo perception you just cooked up in your head. This will be done in a tasteful manner (well sort of). And the best part? We'll be filming it all.

And I'm out.
Peace, Morgs
p.s POST 50! Whattt! Thank you for reading and happy ELLEN DAY!